Lifestyle

Gratitude Friday

I won’t sugar coat things right now….life is hard. We are in a HARD season. I keep thinking we are going to turn a corner and then….we don’t. I don’t know how many times we’ve said out loud “when it rains, it pours” lately.

One thing that helps me each and every day is to try and find the blessings surrounding us.

This week I am grateful for our feisty daughter. She has tested me more this past week than in her entire 11 years of living. But I am so grateful for her. I have had more teaching moments with her this week and more self-reflection this week than I have had in a LONG time. To know our little girl is to love her. She is literally the best person I know. She is kind, witty, and just an overall awesome kid. I have had to remind myself each day this week that I will never get these days back with her and to make the best of every day, good or bad. Most days I feel like I am failing her as a mother, but this week, I am grateful for her and her understanding and loving heart.

I am so grateful we got our garden seeds in this week. Last year when the pandemic started, seeds weren’t the easiest to get your hands on. It’s still not easy. A lot of things have been sold out and the shipping times were taking weeks longer than usual. I have dreams of a beautiful garden this year and I am just so grateful that we got our order in the mail! See all of the fun things we are planting in this post HERE!

I wrote about this last time, but I am grateful for my body and all the things it is doing to get this baby here. This pregnancy has been HARD. But each day we show up and my body does what it needs to and I will never take that for granted.

I am thankful for the snow this week! Our area is in DESPERATE need of any type of moisture. It has been a few years without amazing rain or snow and our land desperately needs it. I live in a ranching community where people pray and fast for rain. Moisture is no joke around here!! And I am just so grateful that we got even just a little bit. And tomorrow it’s supposed to be 60 degrees! So I’ll take it!!!

Life can be hard, but blessings are abundant. What are some of yours??

Starting Our Backyard Garden 2021

I think everyone can agree that we are still in a weird time in life. I know we are, at least, so I speak for our family when I say that. Trying to find “joy” in the small/every day things has been a huge goal of mine as of lately. I feel like every corner we turn we are saying “when it rains, it pours”….and that’s just a horrible place to be in.

One thing that brings me massive amounts of joy is gardening. And canning. And all things homesteading! We decided this year we were really going to focus on our small little backyard garden! I think there is this misconception that you have to have a ton of space or a ton of gardening equipment in order to make something great. And the truth is, you just don’t. I know someone who grew veggies on their small balcony of an apartment/condo and it was wonderful!

Last year it was hard to get your hand on seeds so I knew I wanted to be proactive this year and get our order in. We ordered through Johnny’s Selected Seeds, but really any type of seeds that you can find will be great. I suggest if you’re reading this now and thinking you might want to try planting something this year, now is the time to get seeds ordered! Ours took almost a month to get to us, a lot of things were sold out, and this particular company would close down sales to home gardeners every few weeks. So just a heads up…plan ahead!!!

Last year was a good year because I found a lot of things I liked in the garden and things that just weren’t right for us.
Here is what we have decided on this year:
– Crimson Sweet Watermelons
– Sugar Baby Watermelons
– Zucchini
– Pickling Cucumbers
– Hot Peppers
– Corn (we’ve never done corn before. I am very excited to try this!)
– Beans
– Bell Peppers
– Green Cabbage
– Cherry Tomatoes
– Big Beef Tomatoes
– Spaghetti Squash
– Carrots
– Acorn Squash

We are still hoping to get potatoes, canning tomatoes, garlic, and herbs.

Growing your own food gives me such an intense feeling of gratitude. I love that we get to try new things and see what works and doesn’t work. In this crazy season of life (uhm…when is this all ending?!) I love that it allows us to slow down a bit and just disconnect a little bit, while focusing on something exciting.

Have you ever done a backyard garden? What has been your favorite (or not so favorite) thing to plant? True life: I hated growing yellow squash. We just couldn’t eat it fast enough for how much it was producing and it honestly wasn’t my favorite thing to eat.

Gratitude Friday

There is no denying the fact that we are living in a WEIRD time right now. There is also no denying that a heart of gratitude can really lift your spirits.

Some days it might be REALLY hard to look around you and find things to be grateful for. I’ve been there. You are not alone in this season of life if you feel like there is little to be happy about. But let’s try to dig deep and find those happy moments. They are out there. Pinky promise.

I am going to try to make this a “thing” on my blog, but really, I’m the worst at staying true to my word on these things, so don’t hold your breath. HOWEVER! For THIS Friday I am here. I am showing up and I am sharing about things I am GRATEFUL for.

I am grateful for a wiggly baby girl inside of me. The anxiety that comes with pregnancy after loss is INTENSE and each time I feel her move it is a little sense of reassurance. I still can’t believe it. And I still say each and every day “ALL GLORY TO GOD!”

I am grateful for small town living. The world is crazy right now. And scary. And I am just SO grateful to live in a small town with really really good people.

I am thankful for food storage and space to plant gardens. I get such a joy out of knowing we have a food supply for our family if anything were to happen. I love that we get to enjoy planning out a garden for the year and knowing we will have a time to harvest in the fall. It isn’t some glorious garden. But it’s ours and we do it together and we love it! And I love my seed loving husband and all his knowledge. 😉

I am grateful for the gift of photography. I set a goal for myself when it comes to sessions booked and I am excited about that. I know we will be having a baby this year and the business will slow down, but I am still so grateful for this gift. I love being able to capture people in unique and candid ways. It is such a blessing to me.

What are you grateful for this week? Today? This moment? I’d love to hear!

Follow me on Instagram: @kaylin.lindsey

Pregnancy During a Pandemic

I know I’m not the only one going through pregnancy during a pandemic, but I wanted to write about it so years from now I don’t forget all the craziness that is a reality for so many people right now.

If you don’t know anyone who is pregnant right now or haven’t heard of some of the craziness, feel free to read along. Otherwise this will just be a post for me to look back on and hopefully, someday, laugh about all of this. (Probably not though. And probably will need therapy, to be honest. HAHA!)

Before I found out I was pregnant in September I had friends who were pregnant throughout the year, so I kind of had an idea of how things were going as far as the pandemic and doctors appointments for expecting parents. With this pregnancy we had talked about how we were going to take a little bit of a “different route” and I actually didn’t end up calling the doctors office until about 12 weeks…the point in which we usually miscarry. We figured if we waited until then, maybe we wouldn’t get too excited or attached when they told us the baby had no heartbeat. I knew going into that appointment that M wasn’t going to be able to come with me. No one could. I had to do this alone. And I knew going into it that I was going to be told, in a doctors office alone, that we had lost our baby….again. It was all too familiar.

I sobbed going to that appointment. I tried so hard to have faith. I prayed so hard for my hurting heart. I cried. And cried. And cried some more. I was seeing the P.A. at this appointment and she told me that they would schedule all blood work and the ultrasound and blah blah blah for a later date and this appointment was just to get the ball rolling. I told her of our past losses and I asked if she could just PLEASE listen for a heartbeat with the doppler. She was amazing and never hesitated to say yes. She went and grabbed the doppler and at almost 12 weeks, I heard a heartbeat. A strong heartbeat. And I sobbed more. (I cry a lot, okay?!) That poor P.A. She probably thought I was such a nut job.

Here is where things get fun….

She scheduled me for my first ultrasound, but the OB/GYN ultrasound tech was booked for a few weeks, so she got me into a different radiology/ultrasound place. Could M come with me? Still no.

At this ultrasound, I still expected bad news. It’s all we’ve ever gotten. So on the way to that appointment…I sobbed. And sobbed. And sobbed some more. (Maybe it’s a good thing no one could be with me?! Also, a MAJOR downside to the doctors office being an hour away. Lots of time to think in the car. Not good for those with raging anxiety.)

The ultrasound started and all I could ask….”is there a heartbeat?” She told me there was. But unfortunately, that is all I got that day. She told me they don’t print pictures for people and that I would have to wait to hear from my doctor about anything else. I felt heartbroken. Barely got to see the baby but for a second, and no pictures….no cute black and white sonogram pictures to take home to my husband. I know that is so LITTLE in the big picture of life, but I was so sad.

The following appointments were by myself.

When it was time for my 20 week anatomy scan, it got cancelled due to the ultrasound tech being out. So again, I was scheduled at the radiology place. And again, I had to go alone. And again, they didn’t turn the screen so I could see anything to do with the baby. I had to ask them to see her, to which they turned the screen for MAYBE 6 seconds. And that was it. No pictures. Again.

I left that appointment sobbing. And frustrated. And angry. And just….MAD that THIS is how my pregnancy was going. This is how SO. MANY. PREGNANCIES. are going for people.

If it wasn’t for a third party ultrasound place that we paid for, my husband would never have seen his baby. That ultrasound place is in a city 4 hours away from us. And if it wasn’t for making an appointment there….we would never have pictures of our baby in the womb. I KNOW it sounds like a silly thing to be sad about. I am hoping when I read this back in a few years I laugh at myself. But for today…..for this season….I am sad. I am sad that our one shot at a pregnancy, and this is the reality of “normal”.

I know I am not alone in feeling some type of sadness during this joyous moment in life. I’ve realized I need to allow myself to feel whatever it is I am feeling, or anger will take residence in my heart and I am steering clear of that at all costs.

To all other families feeling any type of way during this pandemic, I see you. You are validated in your feelings. And someday, we might laugh about all of this. We can only hope, right?!

Pregnancy After Recurrent Miscarriage

It feels SO. CRAZY to be writing this post! After years of trying for a baby, years of losing babies, and years of wondering if maybe our family was just meant to have one little girl….the time is now. We are actually pregnant. And we are actually pregnant past 11, 12, 13, and 14 weeks! I am almost 17 weeks and I think a slight panic of “uh….now what do we do?!” has set in. I mean…it has been a LOOOONG time since I’ve been pregnant and had a baby. Has anyone else been in that boat and you just feel like you’re going to forget everything about a newborn?!

When we got pregnant, I was shocked to say the least. When we made it past 10 weeks, I was shocked to say the least. When I went in for an ultrasound at 12 weeks, I was shocked to see a little baby moving and wiggling around…to say the least. We truly felt like this chapter of our lives was closing and had come to terms with the fact that this was going to be our family. The three of us. And it was perfect and wonderful and we were happy about that. But now we get to add another little girl and I am over the moon. (I AM HAVING ANOTHER GIRL!!! WHAAAATT?!?!?!) Okay, still not over it. 😉

The range of emotions I have felt since finding out we were pregnant has been…challenging. I wrote this down after finding out we were pregnant:

“Two days after finding out we are pregnant. Two days ago I took my 6th positive pregnancy test. I have felt every emotion possible in the last few days. I have prayed more these days than ever before. Prayers of gratitude and prayers of pleading. I have cried and given myself a panic attack over the thought of being pregnant again, but I am exactly where I hoped to be at this moment in time. We were getting real close to being done forever. Closing this chapter of our lives. We tried and we fought. And maybe that is why this feels so bittersweet. I cried to Michael when I showed him the test and I said “this is the last time I will ever be pregnant.” Because for us, this is the last time we will try for a baby. It has been years of heartbreak, years of struggle, and years of trying to figure out “what’s next?” And still I find myself asking that question. What’s next? I am so guarded. I refuse to let myself get excited. I was just telling a friend…we never plan for the arrival of a baby, we just plan for around 14 weeks later when I will probably miscarry. How morbid is that?! But that is what recurrent miscarriage does to you. Every pregnancy isn’t full of hope and joy. It’s filled with hesitation and reservation. I am praying for these next few weeks. I am literally praying every second that my body and this baby can finally work together and we can bring our baby earth side. I know He has a plan. I have always rested in that truth. So here we are again. Waiting. Hoping. Trusting. Praying. Holding our breaths.”

Oof. Talk about emotions being brought up reading that again. But that’s real and that’s raw. Sometimes, pregnancy isn’t easy and wonderful and beautiful for every person. Sometimes it’s lots of crying, lots of pain, and lots of worry. We are finally getting to a point where we are excited, to a point where we feel like we can let our guard down just a little bit and let ourselves feel the bit of joy and anticipation that most couples probably feel when they are planning for a baby.

For me, I think finding out the baby was a girl was what made me get over that fear hump. I still went into that appointment, at 15+ weeks, sick to my stomach thinking they might tell me bad news. That’s all we’ve ever been told at ultrasounds…bad news.

I know this has been a LONG journey and so many of you have watched along side of us for it all. I can’t say enough how grateful I am for each of you. This is a very surreal time for me and I am overcome with emotions and gratitude each day. Just know that I love you all. And thank you.

Year One – Starting A Photography Business

Wow! I can’t believe it’s been a year since I decided to jump in with both feet and take my photography serious. The last year of my life has transformed and blossomed into something beyond my wildest dreams. I never set out to be a photographer, but I QUICKLY fell in love with it and wanted to run full speed into creating this beautiful business that is Kaylin Lindsey Photography. Is it perfect? No. Do I still have room to grow? Always. Am I proud of the work I have created over the last year? Damn right!

So let’s look back on the past year…I had taken a few photos here and there, like this maternity session, and was super proud of what I was creating. But it wasn’t until one certain shoot that I knew I wanted to take photography seriously. My sweet nephew was born June 29th, 2019. I was lucky enough to be able to take some Fresh 48 pictures for my brother and sister in law and Y’ALL! Those pictures. Those pictures changed everything for me. They were so good. I loved them SO much. And I was SO damn proud of them. I cried. I felt confident. I felt….proud. And I hadn’t felt that way in a LONG time. (And actually, these photos went viral for me on Pinterest so that was fun, too!) Although I feel proud of our BEAUTIFUL wedding films we put out, I always felt like Michael was the big shot on that because he is the one who does the editing. So for the first time, I felt like I had something to be proud of that was mine.

After this photoshoot I knew I was on to something and I could run as fast and as far with photography as I wanted to. And that excited me.

Over the past year I have met amazing families, captured breathtaking weddings, and created memories for people that will last them forever. I have shot pictures all over the state. I have shot pictures for people I’ve known for years, and people that I met the day of the photoshoot. I have travelled hours and hours in a day for shoots and I have spent hours and hours editing portraits that I pray people will enjoy.

The last year of my life has been a complete transformation.
I know my business is only starting out and that is the most beautiful thing to me.

THANK YOU for allowing me to dream this dream. THANK YOU for trusting me with your pictures needs. THANK YOU for supporting this by sharing me with your friends and family.

GIBERT, ARIZONA TEMPLE SEALING
ARIZONA ENGAGEMENT SESSION – PHOENIX
SNOWFLAKE, ARIZONA TEMPLE WEDDING
SEDONA, ARIZONA WEDDING
ARIZONA ENGAGEMENT SESSION – GREENS PEAK

All my love,
Kaylin Lindsey

TO BOOK: me@kaylinlindsey.com
INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/kaylin.lindsey
FACEBOOK: Kaylin Lindsey Photography

A look at the last year in photos:

Behind The Small Business – Peachy Sweet Cookie Shoppe

It’s no secret that we live in a tiny small town located in the White Mountains of Arizona. No, we do not have fast food here. No, we do not have stop lights here. But YES! we DO have delicious and beautifully done custom decorated sugar cookies! This is such a fun thing that our town gets to enjoy and I wanted to share a little bit about this amazing woman who is such an amazing and beautiful addition to our town. Not only does she create beautiful (AND DELICIOUS) cookies, but her family also owns and operates a local pizza restaurant in town! So fun, right?!

I asked Heather from Peachy Sweet Cookie Shoppe
some questions about her amazing cookie business and this is what she had to say:

What inspired you to start a cookie business?
“Didn’t do it on purpose. I had watched several of the cookie decorating videos as I scrolled through FB and decided to give it a try on Christmas Eve one year. I had no idea what I was doing and they looked terrible but were so good.
I am a pretty determined person and it was something I thought I would enjoy so I tried again and again. Still practicing but looking back and seeing how far I’ve come is rewarding.”

Have you always been a baker?
“Not really…I mean I would bake treats for my family but never to this extent.”

What has been the best part about making cookies?
“The best part about making cookies has seriously been meeting so many people! If I didn’t make cookies I would stay in my own little box and not know so many sweet and kind people around the mountain.” (When Heather does orders, she does pickup options for all of our surrounding towns. How amazing is that?!)

What are the pros and cons of a business in a small town?
“Pros and cons of running a business in a small town?? Pros again just meeting so many people from here that I probably don’t run into regularly. I love being asked to do cookies for occasions year after year for the same customer. I have a few I’ve done cookies for birthdays for 3 years now. It’s been fun to watch the kids likes change from year to year.
I don’t really have any cons. I just love what I get to do.”

These cookies are the real deal, y’all. I wish every single one of you lived in our town so you could try them! Haha. Heather is a wonderful person, inside and out, and it shows in her cookies! I am so grateful she let me brag a little bit about her on my blog! It is so fun to learn things about new people and I hope people in our little town enjoyed this post! 🙂

Peachy Sweet Cookie Shoppe – Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Peachy-Sweet-Cookie-Shoppe-331876290625608/

Different Strokes for Different Folks | Kaylin Lindsey

Different strokes for different folks.

If you’ve been my friend for any amount of time, you’ve probably heard me say that by now. Really, I say it at least once a day. But it’s SO. DARN. TRUE. You may like something that I hate, and that’s cool! You might live your life totally different than me, and that’s cool! You might be a stay at home mom while others work, and that’s cool! DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS!

We as humans spend SO much time comparing, over thinking, downright judging and just wondering how people are perceiving us. Social media is so fun, right?!

If you’re not that person, then great. Really. You’re a better person than me and you can click off this post. If you’re one of those people who is super confident in who you are and don’t give a rats ass about what people think of you, come back another day for another post. This isn’t it for you, sis.

Right before we got married we moved to the town we currently live in. I love this town. It has my heart and it is where I see us growing old. It’s a wonderful town filled with wonderful people. HOWEVER!

This was a hard place to move to. Like…REALLY HARD. I am not from here. I didn’t grow up here and my friends don’t live here. For the first few years we lived here I was convinced I would never find a friend and I felt like I was constantly sticking out like a black sheep.

I mean….I still do….hell, I’m at the liquor store buying Bud Light more than I’m at the gas station getting gas. And guess what? That’s okay. You water your grass while I water mine. Mine might just have a little beer in it. Hahaha.

I really thought at this point in my life I would have the whole “friends” thing figured out. I thought that I would be so confident in who I was. I thought I would never care in a million years what people thought of me. And although that is true on most days, some days I really struggle. And I struggle HARD. We all want to be liked and accepted, right? Isn’t that just….human nature??

And wanting to be liked and accepted in a small town that has friend groups that have been established since the womb, its hard to find your tribe. And when you want to sit and have a glass of wine with a friend but you literally don’t know one person who you could call to do that with, its hard.

I think you’re allowed to feel this way as an adult in life. Especially if you are someone who craves friendship and relationships the way I do. I think you can live anywhere, be a stay at home mom, be a working mom, be a single girl, have lots of money, or be stressing about bills and you can still feel this way.

I want to tell you that it’s okay. It’s allowed. You are validated. I think the biggest thing for me to remember is there are seasons of life. Ebb and flow. Somedays you’re up and some days you’re down. THIS IS NORMAL. YOU ARE NORMAL.

If you do one thing today, I hope that thing is giving yourself a little grace. Give yourself grace for the moment of life you are in and give yourself grace for how your heart might be feeling about things right now. You are wonderful.

We Bought A Camper Van!

You know when you see something in someone’s yard that you like so you walk up to their house and ask if you can buy it? No?? That’s not normal? Well….that’s exactly how we scored the newest addition to our family. And no, I am not kidding. HAHA! Small town life. Small town living. We are not all crazy here, I promise. Just….friendly.

We are SO beyond excited have have this new (to us, obviously) camper van in our lives. We LOVE camping as a family and this is going to make trips so much easier. Just load up in the van and hit the road!

She (or he? We haven’t decided it’s vibe yet) is obviously nothing brand spanking new, but that’s kind of our vibe if you haven’t caught on. We don’t need fancy around here. Heck, we met at an Uncle Kracker concert….I am off track now….

We are going to put a little work into it but for the most part, she (he?!) is solid and sound. We are excited to add some color and personal touches to the van. It is going to be perfect for our little family. Many of memories are about to be made!!

Do you like camping? If you live in Arizona, where is your favorite place to camp??

Living In A SMALL Town

Often times I have NO clue what to write about as a “blogger”. I’ve never really considered myself that because well….there are MONTHS that go by that I don’t post on here. 100% of the time, I feel like I don’t have anything to share when it comes to my boring little life. But damn it, I want to blog. I want to write. I want to share things with you. So this year, that’s what I’m doing.

If you know us, you know we live in a tiny town. Growing up, I thought my hometown of Flagstaff, Arizona was “tiny”. But no. I’m talking TINY. Like….no stop lights, no fast food, I drive 45 mins each way for groceries, etc….

I will never forget when we were moving here and one of my sisters said…”What happens if you have an event and you need a red blouse?! Where do you go?!” Hahaha. We still laugh about that. Thanks, Jen!

So…what exactly do we do in small towns like this to keep ourselves sane? Well friend, I’m going to tell you!

– We drive to the “big city” a lot. And by big city…I mean the next town that has a Walmart. We like going out to eat as a family in Show Low and sometimes just walking around said Walmart or Home Depot because well, there’s nothing else to do! We’ve been known to order a pizza from Dominos and drive the 45 mins each way just to pick it up and bring it home. Sometimes you’re desperate, okay?!

– Bunco Group. If you have never been apart of a bunco group, you should totally start one with your friends!! When I was playing bunco, we would meet up once a month at someone’s house and play. It was good to get out of the house, be with other moms, and just laugh and usually eat yummy treats!! You can find a ton of fun ideas on Pinterest and if you’ve never played bunco, you can find rules and such there, too!

– Gas stations and drives. If you live in a small town, you have probably gone to the gas station to get a drink or some kind and then just driven around town. It’s something we really like doing. We’re old and boring. Don’t judge us. Also, I’m pretty sure towns are the #1 sellers of soda pop cups at gas stations. It’s crazy how many drinks people get a day!!! HAHA!

– For “date night” we like to do puzzles or play each other in cards. Pretty wild, huh?!

– Fires. In the summer we love having fires in our backyard. Sometimes we invite people over, sometimes we don’t. Either way it breaks up the “every day” and gives us something to do other than watch Netflix.

– Summer. We live for summers around here. Our town does SO many fun things and we truly live for it!!! If you’ve never been to a small town for any type of holiday, find a friend and go! (cough, me, cough)

One thing I DON’T do a lot of, and it tends to surprise people, is order a lot from Amazon. I never really got on that train and I just….don’t use it? I actually just learned about grocery DELIVERY over Christmas with my family. Like….people actually have groceries delivered to their HOUSE! What a concept! HAHAHA!

If you like hearing about our “small town life”, let me know what you’re interested in reading about and I can write about anything you are curious about!!!

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