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Kaylin Lindsey

lifestlye blog + photography

To The Friend Who Has No Friends

If you have clicked on this post, chances are you are in the same boat as a lot of other women I know. You fall into a category of people who feel like they do not have friends. Specifically, I am talking about myself. I fall into this category.

And I will start by saying….my heart goes out to you. I SEE YOU. And I love you.

We see it all the time….”Find your tribe and love them hard”. What happens if we don’t have a “tribe”? There are posts about “Why girls trips are GREAT!” But what if you don’t even have a group of friends to go on one of those trips with? We see girls, or couples, on constant trips together. But what if you just DON’T do that? You are still normal, I promise. Pinky promise.

Why is it that as an adult, it almost seems damn near impossible to make good, SOLID friendships? Is it our busy schedules? Or is it judgment and intimidation from other women/people?

I said this earlier, but if anything I have said earlier in this post resonates with you, please know that YOU are on my heart right now. I have been thinking about you and I have been praying for you. Guys…it sucks to feel like you don’t have friends. It hurts your heart. It can keep you up at night and some days move you to tears. It can be so frustrating to just want ONE FRIEND who you call and vent to….or someone who talk to each day…..but the truth is….some of us just DON’T have that.

There is nothing worse than questioning what type of friend you might be….I mean, if you don’t have a ton of friends, something must be wrong, right? If you don’t have a “close knit group”, you must be missing out on something, right?

Ready for the brutal and honest truth? NOTHING IS WRONG! Nothing is wrong with you, nothing is wrong with the type of friend you are, and at the end of the day, you don’t need girls trips to make your world go round.

Your tribe might be your husband. And that’s okay. Your tribe might be your kids. And that’s okay. Hell your tribe might be your babysitter or your mother in law…..that’s okay!

We live in a society right now where I think some of us have a false reality of what real life friendships look like. It doesn’t have to be going to brunch every Sunday. It doesn’t have to be luxury trips out of state together. It can simply be driving around town with a coke because your kids were driving you crazy that day. It can be watching Bachelorette in your pajamas together and eating pints of ice cream. (Okay, does anyone want to start doing this with me?!) It can be texting someone during the week saying “Thinking of you this week!”

Please, please, PLEASE do not ever question the kind of friend you are. Please do not ever question your truth or your authenticity. If you are the friend who has no friends, please know that I am with you. I stand with you. And I love you so big. You are wonderful.

Cheers to friendships, or lack thereof.

They Tell You Not To Blog About This

If you’ve ever looked into blogging, almost everyone will tell you the same thing….don’t blog about personal stuff. People don’t want to read about your personal life. You need to be TEACHING them something! Well…if you want to learn a new kitchen hack or five new lunch ideas, this post isn’t for you….if you want to hear a life update on yours truly….continue reading!

Woahza! Life has been a CRAZY whirlwind for us over the last few months. If you didn’t know, I left a job that I was at for 4 1/2 years and started a new job at our local middle school! It has been an amazing change of pace and quiet honestly it was exactly what I needed. Sometimes in life there comes a point when you just need to step back, re-evaluate things, and do what’s best for YOU. I am a people pleaser through and through, so this was REALLY hard for me. Huge shout out to my husband who talked me through far too many emotional meltdowns. But I am so beyond happy right now. And I am loving the new job I am doing!

With the change in jobs, I am hoping this gives me more time and freedom to pursue writing and my whole blog in general. I really do love connecting with you guys and just like this post, I like writing and sharing about our lives. It is fun and therapeutic for me. Sometimes (okay, most of the time) I feel like my writing or things I want to talk about aren’t important enough to be shared. I see everyone sharing expensive fashion and trendy things to buy and honestly that just isn’t me. So I sit here and just don’t post….but I’m trying to change that! If there’s anything specific you want to see on my blog or you have questions, shoot me an email!

If you solely read my blog and don’t follow me on any other social media, you might be wondering what we’ve been up to….(okay, you probably haven’t thought twice about what we’re up to, but for the sake of this post, I am going to tell you!)

I recently have taken up photography. Yes, like….real pictures! We have been in the videography business for quite a few years now and I decided to take a stab at pictures and yup, I’m in love! So if you’re in Arizona and are looking for someone to do a fun shoot with, hit me up!! Here is some of my work:

Over the summer we also rescued a dog, got two kittens, still have chickens, and are just living a fun and crazy life with our totally awesome pets. Never in a MILLION years did I think we would 1) get another dog or 2) get kittens but 3) LET ALONE GET THEM IN THE SAME SUMMER! I know, madness!

Like I said, if you have any ideas for what you want to see on here, let me know! I am hoping to do a lot more around these parts and excited for whats to come! Thanks for sticking around and thanks for reading.

XOXO.

What To Say To Someone Who Has Had A Miscarriage

If you are clicking on this post, you most likely know someone who has had a miscarriage. Or perhaps that person is you. Let me start by saying miscarriage is SO hard. It is hard and it is beyond crappy and it is heartbreaking. I am hoping this post can bring a little insight for you and/or bring a little bit of healing to your hurting heart.

If you know anything about us or our story, you know we have had our fair share of miscarriages and I feel that I can talk confidently about this topic. I will say with each time we have miscarried, it never gets easier and the pain doesn’t just “stop” or “go away”. I have always been VERY open about our struggle through infertility and our constant battles with recurrent miscarriages. With being open on the internet comes a LOT of questions from people (which I so appreciate), and my NUMBER ONE asked question is “what do you say to someone who has lost their baby?!”

Such a good question!!

I know not everyone is the same. I know not every grieves the same. I know not everyone processes loss the same way. AND THAT IS OKAY! But I do believe, with everything in me, each person needs to feel love and support during such a hard time in their life, whether they admit it or not. Sometimes we just need community and sometimes we just need to feel LOVED.

Before I get into “what to say”, I want to share WHAT NOT TO SAY. And yes, these are real things that people say to someone after they have miscarried…I don’t write these things down to be mean, but I genuinely think some people just DON’T realize what they are saying is a little…rude.
“It just wasn’t meant to be right now!”
“Probably for the better that it happened before more complications came”
“But you’re like….okay….right?”
“You’re young! You can just get pregnant again!”

I want to share a story from the first time I miscarried. I don’t think this person even knows the impact she had on my life, but I wanted to share this special moment that I hold so close and dear to my heart.
After I miscarried for the first time I didn’t leave my bed for DAYS. I literally just laid in bed and sobbed. (Two years later I realized I had PPD and it ALL made sense but that is another story for another day). I had a few people stop by our house with flowers, candy, and hugs and it was SO appreciated. But one girl stopped by and it changed everything for me. I was in my pajamas, looking like a complete wreck, and heard someone knocking. I went to answer it and opened the door to this special girl holding a plate of cupcakes and she said “I know we don’t know each other, but I heard what happened and I wanted to bring something by for you and tell you that I love you!” Guys, I cried. A lot. And I cry every time I share that story and I’m crying now as I type this out. You can’t even imagine the impact that had on my life. It was so simple. “We don’t know each other….BUT I LOVE YOU!” Wow. So huge. And such a testament as to how we should really be treating people, right?! (Side note: if you were that girl, and you are reading this post, I want you to know what a HUGE and monumental impact you have had on my life. You probably never thought twice about your sweet gesture, but on my hardest days I think of you and I try to be a better person because of you.)

Miscarriage is hard. It is hard emotionally and it is hard physically. With that being said, I think there is so much you could say to someone who has experienced a miscarriage.

– It’s okay to not be okay. I needed to hear this more times than I can count.
– How is your husband doing? And your other kid(s)? (It is a loss for the WHOLE family, not just mama)
– Can I bring you dinner? (Like I said, miscarriage is PHYSICALLY hard and sometimes it’s nice not to have to cook!)
– What’s your favorite dessert? I will bring it over! (Even just ding dong ditch it at their door if they aren’t up for visitors)
– I love you. So little. But oh so important.
– We are heartbroken, too. We are rooting for you guys to get your baby here.
– I can’t imagine the pain, but when you’re ready to talk, I am here to listen.
– I have been there, and I know how bad this hurts. You are validated in your feelings.
– Do you want to go for a drive and get a soda?
– You are brave and strong and one hell of a woman!
– Even just a simple text that says “I am thinking of you.”

Like I said earlier, I know each woman is different in how they process or grieve. I don’t think these suggestions are “one size fits all” type of suggestions. If you have a friend who has miscarried, I encourage you to find out what her love language is and maybe try something that fits within those. You could pick up her kids from school one day, you could see if she needs help with dishes, you could just come sit on the couch and chit chat about life if she’s up for it.

There are a million things you could say or do for someone who has miscarried. I think 90% of the time people just don’t know “WHAT” to say. AND I TOTALLY GET THAT! It is a hard topic. It is a hard thing in life to go through. But I promise if you know someone who has miscarried, reaching out to them in some way is always going have a positive impact on them.

If YOU have gone through a miscarriage yourself, please know that my heart goes out to. I know the pain all too well. Our family has experienced loss like I never thought imaginable. I know sometimes the pain of losing a baby seems like it will never heal. I want you to know that you are NOT alone. You are loved. You are important and you are VALUED.

Service Trip With Village Book Builders

Woah! Where do I start?

We just got back from an 11 day trip with Village Book Builders and my cup runneth over. This trip was one of those trips that just fills you to the deepest parts of your soul and you can’t help but be grateful for all you got to experience! It was challenging at times, but I wouldn’t have traded this experience for the world.

Village Book Builders in a non-profit organization that heads to villages and provides libraries to kids. On this specific trip we went on, we brought TWO libraries to two different villages, Chican and Kinil. Libraries that were packed with books, computers, and a safe place to LEARN and GAIN KNOWLEDGE! I mean really, what is better? I wish I could explain the overwhelming JOY it brought to my heart to see these kids EXCITED about books and reading. You guys…it was unexplainable…

Some of these kids have only ever seen and read text books for school. No children’s book, no story books, no chapter books…

It was a truly humbling experience to be able to love on these kids and bring them something that will stay with them far beyond the week that we were there. We were leaving them with tools to grow as a person, books to grow as KIDS, and inspiration to use their imagination.

Village Book Builders is big on bringing knowledge and education to children but also having fun in the area you’re going to! We were in Yucatan, Mexico and visited Chichen Itza, Tulum, rode a boat to the reef and snorkeled, and immersed ourselves in the culture in such fun ways. We were there on New Years Eve and it was AMAZING to experience a new culture and see how they do things on holidays. We had multiple invites to different events around the village and spent a large chunk of our night at a house that invited us into their home. They cooked for us, laughed with us, danced with us, and showed so much love to us. I will always remember that night and I will forever be grateful for that hospitality.

Some of my favorite and most memorable things on this trip were the following:
-Not knowing any Spanish and still falling in love and creating relationships with these children
-Teaching photography classes to the kids and showing them how this is our JOB. Taking pictures of each of them will hold a special place in my heart.
-Trying new foods! (Best tamales of my life)
-Creating friendships with people I never thought possible
-Trying new ‘Agua Fresca’ each day
-The “burning man” on New Years Eve
-“Dennis the Menace” (There was this ADORBALE kid who was just a TERROR. We all loved him fiercely and he almost locked us ALL in a room)

Guys, this trip brought me SO out of my comfort zone. I hated going into this with people I didn’t know. It terrified me. I am really bad at “making friends” but I came out meeting some of the best people in my entire life. We didn’t have access to a shower any time we wanted, we didn’t have a flushing toilet, no on-demand air conditioning….and somehow, this turned into my favorite trip we’ve ever taken.

If you ever have a desire to serve, please look into a trip with VBB. You won’t find better people. In 2019 they are doing trips to Nepal, Peru, and Africa! You will thank me later, promise.

Have you ever done a service trip before?! What was your experience? I would love to hear about it!

Post 2: 10 years from now…

I’ve thought about this question a lot the past few days. Where do I want to be in ten years? Most people could give you a direct answer to this question. “Graduated from school, living in such and such place”, etc. The only things I know for certain about ten years from now are this:
I will have a 13 year old. Wait, WHAT?! THIRTEEN?
I will also have been married to my best friend for almost ten years. 
Ten years from now? Ten years from now we hope to be financially supported by our own businesses. I like to think M and I are both entrepreneurial, but M is more so than me. We are always talking about new business ideas or how we could do things better. Also in ten years, I would like to hope baby girl would have a brother or sister, or two. 😉 
I’m not one of those people who have a checklist of so many things I want to have happen over time. Do I have hopes and dreams? Absolutely. But being with M, making a family of our own, raising baby girl…right now, this is enough for me. It wouldn’t matter where we are living, or how we are living, in ten years I want our family to still be US. There will be a lot of growth and change over the next ten years and I think it is going to be such an adventure figuring out things together. 

What do you imagine your life to look like in 10 years?
Do you have any major goals?