The Truth About My Life Right Now
Why do I do this to myself? I go months and months and months without blogging and totally kick myself in the ass for it.
Guys, the last few months of my life have been hard. I talked about 2016 in a recap in December and that was my last post. Depression is a silly biznatch like that. It makes you want to do nothing, see no one, and gives you literally NO motivation. But as a wife, mom, and full time employee, doing “nothing” isn’t an option. So I went through the motions, day in and day out, and guys…it was draining. It IS draining. As in currently, I AM DRAINED.
I have such a weird complex with blogging.
Do I want to blog? Absolutely. But do I feel pressured to dress the best, act the best, have the best? Absolutely. It’s so silly. So so so silly. I’m sick of feeling like I have “nothing to post”.
One thing I’ve learned about the internet is that there is ALWAYS room for you. I feel like a broken record when I say that, but it’s true. If you want to talk, pour your heart out, and put whatever the hell you want on the internet…GO FOR IT!
I’ve been at a really low point in my life. I thought after we miscarried I would have nothing to talk about. I felt like no one would be interested in anything else going on in my life. But do I blog for other people? Do I write for their satisfaction? Obviously not. I never have. So why would I start now?
The truth is…I’ve been in a major rut. I’m trying so hard to get out of it, because trust me when I say it is the worst thing I’ve ever gone through. I am so thankful for a supportive husband. And I don’t mean support like “oh yeah he loves and supports me”. I mean supportive like he recognizes my down days and can say to me “are you having a down day? Is there anything I can do? What do you need?” That to me is true love, and support, and a best friend. He really is my rock.
I am hoping to get in more of a routine with blogging. I can do this. This is my happy place and no matter how many times I stray from it, I always have a longing to come back. Something about writing clears both my head and my heart. So here’s to writing in 2017!